Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Synchronicity: How I Created The Universe - Part 6 - He Did Nazi This Coming

By: Yoinkie

You are probably wondering, with an infinite number of places to visit, things to see, and history unfold, why did I choose to have Nathan take me to kill Hitler? Well, firstly, The Jewish blood in me probably compels me to do so. But that isn't the main reason. The fact that my grand mother and grand father both spent time in Nazi Concentration camps has always pissed me off. But that isn't the main reason either. The thought of how different the world would have been if there had been no World War 2, no Hitler, and millions of people would have had the chance to live out a full and meaningful life is absolutely fascinating... but not the main reason I felt compelled to make that journey.

Link to part 1:

No, the main reason why I choose to go and kill Hitler is because of the way he died. Hitler may have lost all hope of winning World War II but he hadn't lost his damnable pride. The thought of being taken prisoner by people he considered his inferiors was more than he could handle. So on the morning of April 30th, with the war all but lost and Russian forces closing in on his Berlin bunker from all sides, Hitler decided it was time for him to go. Historical accounts say that he had a lovely lunch with his friends, comrades, and his new wife(who he had married the previous day). Afterwards, Hitler and his Wife, Eva Braun(Bitch), retreated to his bunker, and took their own lives. There friends soon rushed in after and found the two hand in hand on the couch, with Eva(Bitch) dead from biting a Cyanide capsule, and Hitler dead from a bullet through the head. Hitler had given them orders to burn his body so that the Opposing forces couldn't take his body and parade it around as a token of their victory.
FUCK. THAT. SHIT. The man who killed without remorse, destroyed without compassion, and attacked without precaution, goes out in such a peaceful way? And to top it off, with a last sign of love, going with his brand new wife(Bitch), in a bunker, with the method of death that he chose? FUCK. THAT. I know that I can't change my universe, because of the domino effect. If I do kill Hitler, it will be in a parallel universe that has no correlation to my own. I can not save the millions of people who died, nor can I prevent world war 2, and I definitely couldn't keep my great grandparents(and the parents, brothers, sisters of million others) from Nazi Concentration camps. But you know what I could do? Cut off that mother fuckers legs and arms and watch him suffer. I might just kill his wife(Bitch) first and make him watch, if I'm feeling a little bit frisky.
"So. You want to kill Hitler? I've gotta tell you, that thought has crossed my mind a few dozen times." Nathan said to me, and I knew he was on board. "How do you want to do it? More importantly, when?"
This was a good question. Ok. Lets think. It has to be before the war, because even if it is just a parallel universe, I still want it to witness a world without Hitler, and without World War 2. But it can't be way before the war, because Hitler needs to know that I am killing him for what is about to happen. "1939, Nathan. August. I hear Berlin is beautiful that time of the year."
"Ah. Good choice. So, how do you plan on doing it? You want me to just, so to say, beam us into Hitler's office? There will be guards, you know. We may have to fight. You ok with that?" Asked Nathan.
"I'm ok with whatever it takes, Nathan. But, just to be safe, we should take some guns. Can you make that happen?"
"I don't see why not." And half an hour later, with a couple of AR 15's by our sides, Nathan told me to get ready, because he was going to drop us in the basement of Hitler's mansion. We took a little time to describe to me in detail what to expect, how many guards, which way to go in case we split up, etc. He handed me a detailed map of Hitler's compound circa 1939(thanks to the internet), and gave me a 5-4-3-2-1 countdown, and just like that, everything around me disappeared and was replaced with a dark, and cold room, which I immediately figured to be the bunker that Nathan had told me about.
I've never shot anyone in my life. Hell, I've only shot a gun once, while on vacation in Hawaii, at a gun range. I didn't know if I could take another persons life, but I kept telling myself, that the people I would be killing, would be responsible for countless deaths, of women, of children, of anyone they see that wasn't one of them. Still, I didn't know if I could pull the trigger, when the time would call for it.
My concerns quickly evaporated, as soon as we took the first corner and saw two guard in Nazi uniforms. They noticed us right away, and before they could pull their pistols from their harness, I put 10 shots into both of them. Our AR 15's were silenced, but you could still hear the sonic crack of the shots, so I kept my gun up just in case anyone within shouting distance heard the shots. It was about this time that I had noticed that Nathan hadn't shot his gun when we were faced with the two guards. I assumed he was just waiting for me to shoot, to really know if I wanted to do this or would chicken out at the last moment. Having seen me not even hesitate to shoot, he took his hand off his watch(which I assumed was because he could quickly get us the fuck out of there in case shit went south), and put his gun upright and in the shooting position.
I remembered from the map that Nathan gave me that right up the stairs is a slightly long hallway, with Hitler's office at the end. I figured it was 30 feet from the top of the stairs to the office. I also assumed that there would be no way for Hitler's men to assume that anyone could have gotten this close to him(without the use of a time machine, of course) so the hallway probably wouldn't be that well guarded, if at all.
I was wrong. I peaked around the corner at the top of the stair case and noticed two guards posted on each door in the hallway, with a total of 6-7 doors. A sort of panic attack began coming over me, and I was about to walk back down the stairs when Nathan pushed me aside, and threw something into the hallway. "Flashbang! Get up here and light this hallway up!" Shouted Nathan, and I followed his order immediately, with panic attack and all. I figured between the two of us, we unloaded 40-50 total shots, and I wasn't sure if we hit anyone at all. We quickly reloaded before peaking into the hallway again. Empty. Thank God. As we quickly scurried across the now dead bodies, I suddenly became very aware that this wasn't a game, and these weren't paintball guns, and I really could die at any moment right now. Nathan probably noticed the look of panic on my face, and said, "We probably have 1-2 minutes before the entire artillery shows up. No more surprise. My research shows that Hitler is definitely behind those doors at this moment. When we get in there, you kill him, and you kill him quick. I need to be holding you when I hit my watch, or else you wont jump with me. You got it?!" I shook my head in agreement.
The door was locked, obviously. But 1940's locks were no match for our over-powered rifles. It took a couple of shots and you couldn't even tell there was a lock. Nathan kicked the door open, and I remembered the layout of this office from the map, so I immediately jumped inside and looked to the right.
I have felt evil 3 times in my life. Once, when I was a little boy, maybe 11 or 12, my scummy neighbor invited me into his house when he saw me playing in the yard. He grabbed my arm aggressively when I got close, and pushed me inside. It was less than 30 seconds before my parents showed up the door to save me. But in those 30 seconds, I felt evil.
The second time I felt evil when I was in "nothing". You remember me telling you about that, right? and the third time, well, the third time was right at that moment. A man sat in a giant brown desk, looking right at me, as if I was some sort of client of his that he was expecting. He didn't twitch, and he didn't panic; he just stared at me, with his hands crossed. I knew it was him, even though I had never seen the man before, he had that face that you just know. And I felt an intense wave of evil, just overtake me. The barrel of my gun pointed at his head, I tried to shoot my rifle, but I couldn't pull the trigger. My fingers felt like they had frost bite, and I couldn't pull the trigger no matter how hard I tried. I can slightly remember hearing the faint shouts of Nathan over my shoulder, "Shoot! Shoot him, Neko. Fucking shoot him!" And I tried to shoot again, and I couldn't. And there he sat, calm and collected as I have ever seen anyone, especially someone with a fucking gun pointed at their head. Its almost like his eyes got into my soul and made me freeze.
It was at this time that I was thrown onto the ground and my arm basically yanked out of its socket and pushed up my back. Im sure it hurt, but I didn't feel any pain. I felt nothing. And I looked up and saw Nathan, fight off one guard with his hand, and unload the rest of his clip into a few others. And then I heard him scream 2 words. He screamed them 3 times in repetitive fashion. And he screamed them at me. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'M SORRY." And just like that, he was gone. The look on the guards faces who were at that time trying to grab Nathan, was quite priceless. I turned my head the other way, to the direction of the desk, and I saw sheer fascination and joy in the face of the man who had now gotten up off his desk and was walking over toward me. He picked up the gun which had previously been mine, and while observing it said something in German. And that was the last thing I remember, from that day.
I awoke, sometime later. Fuck if I remember how long I was out, but I had a throbbing pain in my head that was worse than any migraine I had ever felt. I was in a room. No, check that, it was a prison cell...yup, definitely a prison cell. The intensity of the situation didn't settle into my brain until much later; after trying to open the jail cell(ya right, really?) and shouting at guards down the hall to let me out(again, did I really think this would work?). After doing that, for an hour or so, I decided to sit down, shut the fuck up, and get my barrings.
I was in a prison cell. WORSE, in Hitler's prison. WORSE, in Hitler's own private prison, in the heart of fucking Berlin, at the start of World War 2. WORSE, I was here alone, without a plan, or a friend. Nathan. I remembered Nathan. At first, I was mad. I was furious. He had left me, and saved him self. I contemplated on this thought for an hour or so, and hated the man who had grown to be my friend. And then, I realized what had actually happened.
I fucked up, stared at Hitler in his office for probably more than a minute, and hence allowed his guards to come to his rescue. With me on the floor incapacitated, Nathan only had two options: go Rambo and take out all of Hitler's first officers, or save himself. But it wasn't himself he was saving, it was his watch. Nathan was a man that I had grown to know very well, and had learned a lot about him. He never backed down in the face of adversity, he always kept his cool, he would never let me die, and most importantly, he would never let his watch into the wrong hands. I mean, can you imagine? Hitler with a time machine? My anger over Nathan leaving me had completely subsided, and I knew that what he did was the only thing he could have done. If he had stayed and fought, and lost, we would both be in this prison, and Hitler would be off to see the joys of time and space. And worse than that, the entire Universe would soon be gone, because Hitler doesn't strike me as the kind of man who would care to save the Universe, Time and space. I made my peace with the situation, and if only one of us could have survived this situation, I was damn glad that it was Nathan. He would save the world, and I would die in this prison, in Berlin, in 19 fucking 39. I was ok with it all, but I have to be honest and tell you that I was very much looking forward to killing that son of a bitch Hitler, and then some day saving the universe. It wasn't meant to be, I thought, and went to sleep.
That sleep didn't last that long. Over the next 4 days, I was put through, well... hell. Hitler was an unforgiving man and he didn't much care for prisoners, he always just killed his enemy. But I knew he wouldn't kill me just yet. He knew that I had a weapon that he had never seen before, my silenced AR 15, and more importantly, he had seen a man disappear right in front of his eyes. I knew that Hitler wouldn't think this was some sort of trick. I had read a lot about Hitler and his ways, and had learned that he had always had a special task force assigned to investigating the paranormal. he was fascinated with advanced science, as well as telekinesis and forms of mind control. I figured that Hitler knew that Nathan and I weren't just average soldiers assigned to kill him.
The first day, they beat me, and demanded to know who sent us, and how we got into his compound. It hurt, real bad, but I never said a word. The second day they drugged me, with what I assume was massive amounts of Methamphetamine, Hitler's drug of choice(little known fact that Hitler did Meth almost every single day during the War). I assumed they did this because back than they thought Meth was a truth cerium. I can't tell you if it is or not, because I was way too fucking high to know what was going on. On the third day, they drugged me again, with what I would say is Mescaline, mixed with something else I couldn't quite put the finger on. The doses they gave me were much more than the day before. I don't remember much of this day except that someone was always in my cell asking me questions. I dared not think about what those questions were, because as I have told you, I did graduate from MIT, and I probably know more about a lot of things than most. I tried my hardest not to say anything, but I couldn't be sure under my dire conditions. I figured, that whatever I told them, it would be not be dire unless I told them about U-235. The two main reasons that Germany and their alliance never won the War was because 1) Hitler was a bitch, and he persecuted or alienated almost every single German scientist at the time(Albert Einstein, Werner Hisenberg, Max Born, the father of the Atomic bomb Robert Oppenheimer, etc). And 2) The few scientists that Hitler did manage to keep, never discovered the secret to purifying U-235. They got close, but could never quite get there. Thank God.
The fourth day I was in Hitler's prison was September 1st, 1939, also known as the start of World War 2. Hitler and almost all of his top officials would be elsewhere, most likely overlooking the invasion of Poland, from a safe distance like a bunch of little bitches. I figured that today would be the day that either I escape from Hitler's prison, or the day that I die. It was also the day that I met Hershel Simmons.

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