Wednesday, May 1, 2013

15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:
1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?
2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.
“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu
3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.
4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.
“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle
5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!
“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle
6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.
7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.
8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.
9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer
11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only fear we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt
12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.
13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.
14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.
15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.
Originally posted on: Waking Times


  1. life is gift most people never open

  2. but its difficult to be simple you..

  3. 16. Give up your everyday bad habits, drugs, alcohol,junk food intake etc.., that poison that distracts your mind from beautiful things that exist in our world and makes you dependable on things you really don't need, wasting your precious time.

  4. All these 15 Things can be resumed in: FEAR!
    So, please let me give you my BIGGEST and RADICAL "anti-fear" suggestion:

    Rom 8, 31-39

    31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:

    “For your sake we face death all day long;
    we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”[j]
    37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

    Don't be affraid! Open your heart to the Spirit that resurrected Jesus Christ from the deads! ... and BE HAPPY! :)

  5. basically, be nobody, have no identity. how many of you will agree that?

    1. It is true to say that most 'personality traits' that constitute identity are just manifestations of ego, the illusion of self. It is also true to say that identity itself is an illusion.

    2. I couldn't agree more. I too struggle with this thought... Is identity not just a product of all our flaws??? If we were perfectly enlightened to our fullest potential would we not be identical?

      It seems as though the only thing that makes us different is our ego...

    3. and where is the wrong in that? we are all particles of the one. to be reunited = bliss :)

  6. what works for one person doesnt necessary work for every body....dont so do what works for you and ignore what everybody the end what doesnt kill you is good for you.....

  7. 9 and 10 are Bogus - Asserting that "Change is Good" is an opinion, and also false - change is not always good.

    Asserting "Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open." is also false - assuming that being open to really bad ideas will make your life better is stupid. Some ideas are just that bad. People who are labeled as "neo-nazis" are labeled as such because they have very bad ideas, and it is prudent to label them as such.

    1. your thinking labels things right or wrong - in themselves they are only energy expressed. perception is the key as is allowance, change IS good it is the only constant in this world - to think otherwise leaves you hanging and trying to be static in a dynamic environment - change is change only nothing more unless you perceive it so

  8. I've worked and conquered all but one of the 15 suggestions, the defeating self-talk. My mind is continuously telling me I'm doing it wrong, not good enough, it is my own fault, it's my job to fix the world, they're are talking about you, I'm pathetic, etc... The problem is I resist these thoughts but sometimes can't stop them for days on end. While working on re-programming my inner voice and it's demonic twin, I've concluded that it is really me being pissed off at myself for not taking opportunities' I've been longing for my whole life. Who am I living for anyway??? When I decide to not do something I know I would enjoy doing, it comes down to who I am doing it for. Me or them... So often I put others before myself that I by pass what I want. Living a life that compliments your dreams and desires is for you as an individual to pursue. Chasing someone else's dreams will never satisfy your own, unless it is a collaborative effort.
    "The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."
    One of the best statements ever spoke in the last century. It only has one meaning and can only be interpreted in one way. If your afraid of it, you'll draw it towards you. Stop letting it control your actions, and you will be liberated from what frightens you.
    Love and Hope

  9. Most of these are good advice but one or two are trite and cliched and take little account of the reality that moast people face.

    1. in a way that is true, unknown, but how you handle situations that come your way can either result in a satisfying outcome or a destructive one. take me for example, i have a disease that is destroying every nerve in my body. i have lost the feeling in my legs and hands, my stomach and bowel no longer work effectively........soon i will be incontinent and in a wheelchair. the long list of things i cannot do is too much to bore you with here. Am i scared? Absolutely! a long time ago i decided it was up to me how i handled this and i could either find activities that would challenge me and 'keep me going forward' or i could find the closest couch, turn on the tv and stay there for the rest of my life. i chose the former. my point is that everything is a matter of mindset, everything is a choice. we may not like the challenge, especially when we have no control over what it is,but we do have a choice at how we handle that challenge. see the beauty in the world, appreciate everyone in it because they are all here for a reason and we can learn something worthwhile from each and every one of them. i am not perfect, i struggle with the unknown, i cry and get frustrated, i swear like a sailor and stamp my feet when things dont go my own way,but that is a part of being human. we are all a work in progress and we make mistakes but just pick yourself up dust yourself off and have a little giggle at yourself.
      All i have written here is just my own personal experience and opinion, maybe it resonates a little bit with you too. love to you all xx

  10. So basically just say nothing. .ever,and be a robot? Been there, still here..I do all those things without someone saying I "should" ..